Gathering Gold

Dark Shadow, Bright Shadow

In today’s episode, we’re taking a dip into the shadow lands, and exploring what we mean when we talk about “our shadow” in the realm of human psychology. Sheryl and Victoria share a few traits that they’ve become aware of in their own shadows, and discuss the interplay of shadow and persona and how both benefit from attention and curiosity. Sheryl explains how we can channel shadow characters in healthy ways and learn to see the golden or bright shadow in ourselves, rather than only projecting it onto others. 

 

References:

• A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly
• “Projecting Your Personal Shadow” TEDx talk by Dr. Steve Mortenson
• America’s Got Talent
• Center for Action and Contemplation “Shadow Work” series
• Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, by Robert Johnson
• William Shakespeare
• Purim
• Jeremy Taylor and the concept of the “bright shadow”

The Passage of Time

The passage of time: we all feel it, but highly sensitive people seem to feel it that much more acutely, and often from a very young age. In today's episode, Sheryl shares how she has been feeling the passage of time more strongly as her youngest son nears the age of 18 and begins preparing for college, and how she meets "sweet grief" when it arises. Victoria shares how she often tried to stop or stall the process of growing up throughout her younger years because of this early and sharp awareness of time passing. 

We discuss the speed of technological change and our current moment of cultural nostalgia, and our human tendency to romanticize the past and fear the future. Finally, we reflect on some of the gifts and the gold embedded in the passage of time. 

 

References:

• Father of the Bride (1991)
• Peter Pan
• “Stop This Train” by John Mayer
• "We are in an age of nostalgia -- blame it on technology"
• Memory Almost Full by Paul McCartney
• Rainer Maria Rilke “No feeling is final”

Escape Hatch Fantasies

We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality.

Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish could magically deliver us to a version of life without pain, boredom, or anxiety. Certain fantasies might get sticky, causing us distress or interfering with our real lives. So what do we do with persistent escape hatch fantasies that we can’t or don’t really want to act out? 

That’s the topic of today’s episode. We’ll be unpacking two fantasies in particular (living alone in the woods and moving to a faraway city) to ask what longings might lie underneath them, and how we can attend to those longings while respecting our values and choices we’ve made for our lives. 

References:

• Devotion, Patti Smith
• Carl Jung
• The Power of Ritual, Casper ter Kuile
• Ecstasy, Robert Johnson
• Inner Work, Robert Johnson
• Richard Rohr Unspoken podcast interview

Dropping Into Your Body

You've probably heard the phrase "drop into your body" many times before--even from Sheryl. If this phrase brings up an automatic reaction of fear, frustration, or drawing a blank, you are not alone. In today's episode, we are discussing some of the reasons that we might have blocked off awareness of our body or connection to our emotions early on, and why we might now be afraid or frustrated when we try to reconnect. 

Sheryl and Victoria discuss some of the fearful thoughts that arise around "What might my body tell me about my truth?" Sheryl expands upon the multiplicity that the body holds, and how we can slowly and gently tap into that multiplicity with a sense of curiosity and creativity.

Victoria shares about her years of struggle with dropping into her body, and some of the small, gentle moments that have helped her to get back into relationship with less fear, more compassion and even some joy. 

References:

• Marion Woodman
• Robert Johnson
• Massage therapy
• Reiki
• Body work
• Cranial sacral therapy
• Hakomi
• Somatic experiencing
• Peter Levine 

COVID and the Highly Sensitive Person

If you’re sick of hearing about COVID, we understand. This episode is about just a few themes that are being highlighted for many highly sensitive people in their internal landscapes during the pandemic: anguish over an inflated sense of responsibility; health anxiety; and struggles in relationship. 

For many HSPs, it can be difficult to walk the line between doing the necessary diligent work to protect our loved ones and the greater collective, and finding the limit of what we can actually control. Sheryl unpacks some of the layers underneath a sense of being overly-responsible (not just in relation to covid) from fear of loss, to family of origin patterns, to fear of taking responsibility for one’s own emotional experience.

Sheryl also shares what helps her get through the toughest moments of health anxiety, including finding comfort from maternal figures in the imaginal realm. 

And, we discuss the struggles that are arising in relationships right now, especially between HSP and non-HSP partners who have different levels of risk comfort and tolerance, and between people who have been spending a lot of time at home alone together over the past two years. 

Finally, Sheryl shares some grounding techniques for HSPs to practice and hold onto during this time of continued challenge. 

Winter‘s Paradox

Winter is a season of contrasts. In the long dark nights, candles burn more brightly. Amidst the cold, we find ways to generate heat. And in the spaciousness and emptiness, we make room for new birth. 

In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss winter as a time of paradox: a season of the elder and of the child, of quiet reflection and raucous play, turning inward and pushing ourselves out. A feminine season, ripe for mythology and rich with ferocity, warmth, destruction and creation. 

We delve into a season that is not easy, but offers its share of gold when we prepare ourselves and gather our courage, accept the invitation to slow down, and open our eyes to its dazzling darkness and light. 

If this is a difficult season for you, remember: here in the Northern hemisphere, the days are already getting longer now, second by second, minute by minute. Spring will come. It always does. 

Spiritual Longing

In today’s episode, we’re talking about spiritual longing: longing for connection to God, to mystery, to something greater than our individual selves. We explore some of the obstacles and questions that arise around spirituality: Do I need belief to be spiritual? Is my partner wrong for me if I’m on a spiritual path and they’re not? How do I pray when I’m afraid of what God might ask me to do?

Victoria shares some of her history with spirituality and religion, including the legacy of her almost-monk grandfather, and a journey that includes Veggie Tales and CCD, desire and despair, writing poetry and e-mailing her ex-boyfriend from a silent retreat at an abbey. 

Sheryl shares a poem that expresses her conception of the divine: not an external being that judges and punishes, but a warm and intimate relationship based in reciprocity, realness, and presence. 

References:

• Veggie Tales
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Richard Rohr
• Blog post by Sheryl: Living God’s Will
• Jewish with Feeling by Reb Zalman
• God of Love by Mirabai Starr
• Mary Oliver
• Rumi
• The Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile
• Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast 

Loneliness

Here in the Northern Hemisphere, we are entering into what can feel like a particularly lonely season for many people: the leaves have fallen from the trees, daylight disappears early, and the holiday season is upon us.

Sheryl shares a passage from The Wisdom of Anxiety about loneliness, and we talk about how we can shift from discussing it as a statistic (1 in 5 adults in the U.S. reports feeling “serious loneliness”), and start to add color, texture and feeling to the conversation. What color is loneliness for you? What shape does it take? What stories does it bring up in each of us?

Sheryl describes three types of loneliness: loneliness of the self, relational loneliness, and spiritual loneliness. Victoria shares a poem about feeling lonely, and discusses her experience of isolation during covid lockdowns. We talk about our need for others, and how to approach feeling lonely even in the midst of gatherings or intimate relationships. 

To close, Sheryl leads us through a tonglen practice to help us connect not only to our own hearts, but to the hearts of all those around the world who are suffering.

References:

• The Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile