Gathering Gold

World Pain

In today’s episode, we’re talking about responding to the pain in our hearts and around the world when we turn on the news and see yet another horrific tragedy, like the recent shootings in Buffalo, New York and Uvalde, Texas. How do we keep our hearts open? How do we allow ourselves to lament, and meet our grief and rage, all while continuing to tend to the mundane tasks of our daily lives? How do we know whether we are doing enough to show up for the world in all its pain? 

We bring the words and lessons of many teachers into today’s episode to help guide us as we wrestle with these questions alongside you: teachers in the form of rabbis and civil rights activists, Buddhists and climate justice writers, mindful skaters and hospital chaplains. We are grateful for their guidance and contributions, and we are grateful for you. 

 

References:

• Words from Martin Luther King Jr: “The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice.” “I must confess, I am tired.”; Letter from a Birmingham Jail 
• Jewish wisdom: "You are not obligated to finish the work of perfecting the world, but neither are you free to desist from it."
• On Being episode: "The Opposite of Good is Indifference," featuring Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel quote: "We must learn how to be surprised, not to adjust ourselves. I am the most maladjusted person in society."
• Season 4, Episode 2 of the No Place Like Home podcast, featuring Mary Anne Hitt, Anna Jane Joyner, and Mary Annaïse Heglar 
• The 50th Gate: Tracking Our Growth through the Counting of the Omer, by Rabbi Gavriel Goldfelder 
• Shelly Tygielski, @mindfulskatergirl
• Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown 
• Lama Rod Owens and his recent talk with Action for Happiness
• JS Park 

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can feel like a scream from the soul, like love choking on its own breath. It springs from a variety of sources, both genetic and environmental, and often thrives in a mixture of deep love, profound fear of loss, an exaggerated sense of threat, and an underestimation of our own competence. Separation anxiety calls for individuation, for leaning upon an inner parent, as well as social and even spiritual connection. 

In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria explore their own stories of separation anxiety from their earliest memories, and Sheryl shares her son's recent triumph in this realm.  

The Mother Wound

"Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you..."

-- from "On Children" by Khalil Gibran

 

In today's episode, we explore the mother wound in its tender, painful, personal, and collective layers. Sheryl shares her gentle approach to exploring this wound, which includes compassion for the generations of mothers wounded by the patriarchy and embrace of "good enough" mothering. She offers a definition and some signs and symptoms of the mother wound, as well as poetry that speaks to her own mother-longings. Victoria and Sheryl reflect on lessons learned from the book Wise Child, by Monica Furlong, and its beautiful depictions of Great Mother love that can help us reclaim our power and free ourselves and each other. 

Ask Us Anything

We are so happy to celebrate one year of Gathering Gold with a special "Ask Us Anything" episode. Thank you to all of the listeners who sent in so many fantastic questions -- we wish we could have answered each and every one! In today's episode, you'll hear some reflections on grief, relationship anxiety/anxiety about becoming a parent, explaining (or not explaining) high sensitivity, and of course...our favorite Taylor Swift songs.

We'll be answering more listener questions in upcoming Patreon bonus episodes. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to sign up. 

News & Invitations

We begin this episode with a little story about the podcast episode we had planned to share today, and why we just couldn't make it work. And, we share the solution that arrived when we took a step back and allowed ourselves to try again.  

Today's shorter-than-originally-planned episode also features a few important podcast announcements and invitations as we come upon the one year anniversary of the start of Gathering Gold.

Thank you for listening! 

 

References:

• Registration for Sheryl's Break Free from Relationship Anxiety Course
• https://www.patreon.com/gatheringgold

 

Bittersweet Spring

As we move out of winter and into spring, we are taking time to reflect on this seasonal transition in all of its bittersweetness. Sheryl begins by sharing a reflection on the feelings she is noticing inside of her as spring beckons: not only joy and aliveness, but also sadness and longing. 

In today’s episode, we reflect on the ways in which spring’s fleeting, fragile, and abundantly beautiful nature can usher in heady feelings of in-love-ness, fears around intertwined endings and beginnings, anxiety about unfulfilled potential, and fear of missing out on life’s seasonal blossoms. Spring, in its paradoxical nature, reminds us to pay attention, to tread with compassion, and to live deeply. 

References:

• Sheryl’s blog post “Bittersweet Spring”
• “Closing Time” by Semisonic  
• Lent, Easter and Passover
• JS Park - The Voices We Carry
• Brother David Steindl-Rast
• “Good Day Sunshine” by The Beatles

Dark Shadow, Bright Shadow

In today’s episode, we’re taking a dip into the shadow lands, and exploring what we mean when we talk about “our shadow” in the realm of human psychology. Sheryl and Victoria share a few traits that they’ve become aware of in their own shadows, and discuss the interplay of shadow and persona and how both benefit from attention and curiosity. Sheryl explains how we can channel shadow characters in healthy ways and learn to see the golden or bright shadow in ourselves, rather than only projecting it onto others. 

 

References:

• A Little Book on the Human Shadow by Robert Bly
• “Projecting Your Personal Shadow” TEDx talk by Dr. Steve Mortenson
• America’s Got Talent
• Center for Action and Contemplation “Shadow Work” series
• Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, by Robert Johnson
• William Shakespeare
• Purim
• Jeremy Taylor and the concept of the “bright shadow”

The Passage of Time

The passage of time: we all feel it, but highly sensitive people seem to feel it that much more acutely, and often from a very young age. In today's episode, Sheryl shares how she has been feeling the passage of time more strongly as her youngest son nears the age of 18 and begins preparing for college, and how she meets "sweet grief" when it arises. Victoria shares how she often tried to stop or stall the process of growing up throughout her younger years because of this early and sharp awareness of time passing. 

We discuss the speed of technological change and our current moment of cultural nostalgia, and our human tendency to romanticize the past and fear the future. Finally, we reflect on some of the gifts and the gold embedded in the passage of time. 

 

References:

• Father of the Bride (1991)
• Peter Pan
• “Stop This Train” by John Mayer
• "We are in an age of nostalgia -- blame it on technology"
• Memory Almost Full by Paul McCartney
• Rainer Maria Rilke “No feeling is final”