Gathering Gold

“I’m afraid of living a small life. Of not living up to my potential. Of never being great.”

We hear this often: people wondering whether their life is enough—whether they are enough— and whether they will have regrets in the future about how they chose to lead their “one wild and precious life” (to quote Mary Oliver).

In today’s episode, we unpack the paradoxes bound up in considering whether a life is “big enough," and ask the questions: big by what metric? My whose measuring stick? 

Sheryl shares personal experiences of touching a certain "bigness" (being on the Oprah Winfrey show and amassing 100,000+ followers on Instagram), followed by unhooking from the seductive but soul-sucking tentacles of a certain kind of success.

Traversing stories of Taylor Swift and Doechii, Robin Wall Kimmerer and Jane Austen, we look at messaging from mainstream culture and wisdom traditions about what it means to live a life that is connected, engaged, and meaningful, and how we can resist the “hungry ghost” culture of quantity over quality.

• Sheryl’s blog post, How to Cool Down Internet Inflamed Relationship Anxiety
• Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
• "The Goodness of Ordinary Life" episode of Gathering Gold
• Taylor Swift's song “Anti-Hero” and her commentary about it
• Sheryl’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show
• "DENIAL IS A RIVER" by Doechii
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
• Jane Austen’s writing table

Why do we keep searching for the one thing that will finally make us feel complete?

Inspired by David Whyte's essay Unrequited Love, Sheryl and Victoria explore the universal experience of longing, and why it is especially familiar to highly sensitive people. Together, they reflect on the ache for perfect connection, the inevitability of disappointment, and the cultural messages that tell us we are only one relationship, achievement, or purchase away from feeling whole.

What if longing isn't a problem to solve, but a natural part of being human? This conversation invites embracing life's "beautiful temporary" moments of connection—and finding peace in the imperfect, ever-changing rhythm of love and belonging.

References:

• David Whyte’s “Unrequited Love” from Consolations
• Enneagram 4
• We, Robert Johnson
• Marion Woodman Dancing in the Flames
• Olivia Rodrigo “The Cure”

In this solo episode, inspired by a Patreon community member, Victoria reflects on what it means to be a "lazy hard worker"—someone who swings between periods of doing "nothing" and burning the candle at both ends.

Through personal reflections, she explores the difference between moving slowly and being truly stuck, the fears that can fuel procrastination and perfectionism, and how understanding our own temperament, rhythms, and needs can help us find a more sustainable middle path.

References:

Gathering Gold episode: Effort and Ease

Four years ago, we shared an episode on dream work and the gifts that emerge from remembering, recording, and reflecting on our dreams in solitude.

Today, we're returning to the subject—this time exploring the power of sharing dreams within a trusted community.

What unique wisdom can emerge when we invite others to reflect on our dreams—and when we do the same for theirs?

How can dream work expand our empathy, spark creative responses to social challenges, and help us discern how we're called to serve?

And how do we find the kind of community where this sacred work can unfold?

We explore all this and more in today's episode.

References:

• Jeremy Taylor interviews with Dream Networker and Thinking Allowed
• Jeremy Taylor's Basic Dream Work Tool Kit
• Marion Woodman's dream work 
• Gathering Gold episode: "Living IRL"
• The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You by Dorothy Bryant

Sheryl and Victoria reflect on their experiences of Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat: Another Way. For five days, nestled in a Colorado valley, the retreatants engaged in dream work and rituals; practiced council; moved mindfully; and connected to creativity.

Inside a circle of compassion and wisdom, tears and laughter flowed with ease. A web of deep, healing connection was woven--invisible threads of love that now stretch across continents and oceans. 

In this conversation, Sheryl and Victoria share the guiding principles of the retreat, emphasizing gentleness, safety, and empowerment; dispel myths about what a retreat experience "should" look like; and explore how, no matter what, showing up with an open heart is more than enough. 

References:

• "Another Way" Gathering Gold episode
• How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, Jenny Odell
• Animal Spirit Deck, Kim Kranz
• Projective identification dreamwork, Jeremy Taylor

Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold

Some of our recent bonus episodes include:

Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Sheryl and Victoria share a favorite bonus conversation from the Patreon library ("Dear Highly Sensitive Parent") and current reflections on why it still resonates so deeply--especially now. Sheryl shares some of her most potent, painful, and life-changing experiences in early motherhood and the practices that held and grounded her in the toughest moments. And, she and Victoria discuss Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat (!) and her new community offering for mothers: The Gathering Well. 

References:

• "There is Another Way" episode

• The Gathering Well community for mothers

• Interested in joining a future retreat? Email Sheryl: sheryl@conscious-transitions.com

Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold

Some of our recent bonus episodes include:

Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Sheryl and Victoria unpack how children—and adults—can become pigeonholed as “the smart one,” “the athlete,” “the good girl,” or “the creative one,” and what happens when those identities start to feel limiting.

Through personal stories about parenting, childhood passions, sibling dynamics, and evolving career paths, they reflect on the importance of allowing young people the freedom to grow, pivot, and surprise us. The conversation touches on intrinsic motivation, the difference between genuine passion and externally imposed expectations, and how gifts and talents can both ground us and become tangled with self-worth.

Sheryl and Victoria also explore the tension between encouraging perseverance and honoring a child’s authentic sense of self, sharing examples of how identity can unfold in unexpected ways. Along the way, they discuss multi-potentiality, growth mindset, perfectionism, gender expectations, and the deep human need to feel seen, valued, and free to contain multitudes.

References:

Other Gathering Gold episodes:

• You Do Not Have to Be Good

Films:

• High School Musical (2006)
• Whiplash (2014)

Books:

• Mindset by Carol Dweck

Music:

• “Mirrorball,” by Taylor Swift

TED Talk:

• Why Some Of Us Don’t Have One True Calling

In today's episode, we are exploring the emotional intensity of the middle school years, reflecting on both the pain and the “gold” of this stage—revisiting experiences of loneliness and self-consciousness alongside connection, self-discovery, and courage.

We discuss how shifting attention from family to peers can deepen feelings of rejection, while also opening the door to more meaningful friendships and self-expression. 

We share how important it was for us to feel truly seen at this age—especially by supportive adults—and how small moments of recognition became lifelong anchors. 

In searching for the gold within them, we discover how these "middle" years are not just a time to endure, but a formative, tender, and transformative chapter that shapes who we become.

References:

• “Don’t You Dare Teach My Daughter to Fear the Forest” by TY Chambers
• Dire Straights podcast episode: "Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s Mall"
• The Genius Myth by Michael Meade