Gathering Gold

What Could Have Been

In today's follow-up to the Escape Hatch Fantasies episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss the double-edged allure of ruminating on what could be? and what could have been? 

They discuss the difference between a fantasy and a dream for the future, how to work with the energy of regret, and what we can learn from the film Past Lives (2023) about making space for longing, mystery, and acceptance in the face of our many life choices and experiences.

Escape Hatch Fantasies (Re-Air)

In preparation for our next episode, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: Escape Hatch Fantasies.

Members of our Patreon can submit questions and reflections for our follow-up conversation about escape hatch fantasies at patreon.com/gatheringgold 

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We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality.

Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish could magically deliver us to a version of life without pain, boredom, or anxiety. Certain fantasies might get sticky, causing us distress or interfering with our real lives. So what do we do with persistent escape hatch fantasies that we can’t or don’t really want to act out? 

That’s the topic of today’s episode. We’ll be unpacking two fantasies in particular (living alone in the woods and moving to a faraway city) to ask what longings might lie underneath them, and how we can attend to those longings while respecting our values and choices we’ve made for our lives. 

References:

• Devotion, Patti Smith
• Carl Jung
• The Power of Ritual, Casper ter Kuile
• Ecstasy, Robert Johnson
• Inner Work, Robert Johnson
• Richard Rohr Unspoken podcast interview

A New Tool for Healing Anxiety

"You can read and listen and learn for years, but unless you take actions that create more well-being, you will remain stuck. While accurate information is important and often transformative, it's the compassionate actions we take on our own behalf that create long-lasting, deep-rooted, sustainable change."

In today's episode, we introduce a new tool for healing anxiety at the root: Sheryl's forthcoming publication, The Healing Anxiety Workbook. 

Over decades of working with individuals struggling with anxiety, Sheryl has identified the pain points that most call out for our attention through the voice of anxiety: disconnection from self, from others, and from the unseen world.

In today's episode, we discuss how the inception of this book reflects the very mindsets that ease anxiety; how to deal with perfectionism and anxiety about engaging with a workbook in the first place; and the most important, foundational exercise in this work/play book that Sheryl believes is the key to creating lasting change.

Listen through the very end of the episode to learn how you can attend a very special event if you pre-order the book!

You can also visit our Patreon to learn about joining us for a Spring Equinox virtual gathering on March 23rd and unlock 30+ bonus episodes! 

Resistance to Growing Up

Some children and adolescents bound toward the future, excitedly proclaiming, "I can't wait to grow up!" 

Others are a bit more unsure--some of us may resist growing up well into our 20s and beyond. Acts of resistance against adulthood can be big or small, noticeable or subtle. Even those who were excited to grow up in childhood may find that fears begin to dampen their enthusiasm as the reality of adult life sinks in.

Where do these fears come from? What are some of the core beliefs and emotional experiences that can either hamper or promote our growth and development towards healthy adulthood?

All of this in today's episode.

References:

• Gathering Gold: The Father Wound episode with Daev Finn
• Author Stephen King
• Carol Dweck and Growth Mindsets

What Does It Mean to Grow Up?

What does it mean to grow up? Is it about arriving at a destination at a specific time, after following the linear formula of job, marriage, house, baby? Or is it an ongoing process of development that happens both internally and externally, rippling through our inner world and shining forth in how we engage with the world? What does it mean to grow up on an emotional level?

In this episode, we explore two internal pillars of adulthood that create a foundation for healthy development across the lifespan, and reflect on how building these pillars, brick by brick, can help us to live with more honesty, connection, and peace.

References:

• Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development
• The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life, by Jean Baker Miller and Irene Pierce Stiver

 

 

Living in the Rhythm

“Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.” --Gabrielle. Roth

Our heartbeat. Our breath. Our steps along the sidewalk. Our life happens in rhythms--breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat, step by step. We move in and out of seasons, feel a shift in tempo as our energy levels ebb and flow, fall into connection and disconnection with those around us. 

In today's episode, we are exploring what it means to "live in the rhythm" of life, why it can be so hard in our contemporary culture, and how turning towards the natural world can invite us back into a dance that is humane and enlivening. 

References:

• Wise Child, by Monica Furlong
• Gabrille Roth's 5Rhythms
• Mark Nepo
• Kelsy Leonard, "Why lakes and rivers should have the same rights as humans"
• The Nature of Reading Bookshop
• Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious 

Dark Night of the Soul

Sometimes, the month of January can start to feel like one long dark night. 

Many of us step off the carousel of the holiday season feeling a little dizzy and off-kilter. Some of us might even feel a sense of darkness or despair as we thud back into harsh reality (and, in certain parts of the world, deep winter). We may be teetering between hope and despair; grief and gratitude; anger and acceptance. We may feel faith slipping between our fingers; we may find ourselves craving a good, long sleep.

Maybe we’re in a dark night of the soul. And in today’s episode, we’ll unpack why maybe that’s okay.

References:

• Elf (2003)
• St. John of the Cross
• American Humanist Association
• Vanessa Zoltan’s podcasts: Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Hot and Bothered, The Real Question, Let’s Ask Taylor Swift

Winter Solstice (Re-Air)

In the spirit of the season, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: last year's episode about the Winter Solstice.

We are also offering a special 15% off discount for any new Patreon sign-ups with code GOLD24 and are hosting a Winter Solstice gathering for the Meet-Up Members on Sunday, December 22, at 3 pm EST. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to learn more. 

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We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere.

In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark.

How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness?

How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the need to brave the cold, to go out into the world?

How can we cultivate peace within ourselves in the face of all that is treacherous in this world—including the double-edged winter months, with their shimmer and ice, their harshness and beauty?

This is what we invite you to explore with us in today’s episode, and at our upcoming Patreon Meet-Up on December 21st. 

References:

• Gathering Gold Patreon (sign up for the Meet-Up Member tier to join our virtual meet-ups)
• "Darkness and Light" episode
• "Winter’s Paradox" episode 
• Francis Weller
• "Effort and Ease" episode